Hey,
JD Calderon asked me yesterday why work in indy comics? What to I get out of it and what do I bring to it? On a panel of other creators I got some time to talk about this. From my point of view all the answers are connected, to what kind of person I have to be, and the fact that I ran into an absolute moron when I was 19. Fucking morons.
During high school and college the art teachers I worked with went out of their ways to help me develope. To this day I love those ladies. I was living in Auburn and a local tv station had a segment on a comic creator. He happened to have been one of the people who worked on a character I enjoyed in marvel and I was excited. Matt and Maricar both encouraged me to go show him the book I was working on, so I called his studio space and asked if I could come by. He agreed and I was excited.
Now when I got there I was surrounded by in my opinion half assed art. It was a multi person studio and while I am glad these things exist Not all of them are at the same level. When I showed him my work, what I expected was a brief discussion about things I needed to focus on, and perhaps a direction for submissions in the future. I knew I was not ready for a book yet, but trying to get there myself with no direction is difficult. What I got I had trouble digesting, and in my point of view well Fuck him.
My voice was beginning to take shape. I am not a house style creator, and when I was that age I was realizing this. I was never going to be Jim Lee or one of the endless clones Marvel was churning out. That though is exactly what he told me I had to be or my work would never be worth anything. People like this are supposed to tell you your failings. Neal Adams was famous for being hyper critical as an example. I can take that as I was at the time also teaching labs and working with other students in my courses at college. What I refuse to take is exactly what he did.
“You should give up. Your style is never going to be worth anything to anyone.”
This hurt because your voice in art is connected to who you are like handwriting. Sure you can train yorself to mimic others, but it is not your handwriting. This man is not an artist, he was a graphic designer. Who saw only the financial potential of the work, and really fell out of love with what he does a long time ago. Since I have reviewed his work, both what I was familiar with before and more. He is a house style copy cat, a filler artist. I don’t think he ever got the chance to use his voice, and what he said makes more sense now. Then it didn’t.
I strongly feel that it is all of our duty to life in general to become the people we needed when we were younger. If all of us did this world would turn a bit more freely, and a lot of the hate that floats around in the air wouldn’t be there. Villains are made out of victims who only know how to cope by creating more abuse. I carry this examples far past a fledgling artist just looking for guidance, but to me the concept makes sense.
Part of why I love Kickstarter is that the gate keepers are not there. The gatekeepers become who they truly are the readers. If you work with enough of them, listen to what they have to say and evolve with them you create unique works. Your voice travels. After talking to that man, I focused only on my day job for a long time. Completing little until the misery of allowing my voice to dwindle sent me to the hospital to face death a decade later. It was the need to know my daughter, to be a better person, friend and husband that pulled me from that shadow.
Realising my misery was self inflicted because I let my voice go I began to work in between chemo sessions, blood transusions and finished a book in the hospital. I have never released it. Maybe I will one day. Just by working when I could to build a book I felt alove again. Soon the chemo turned my body around and when I left those halls the last time, I felt like those ten years were gone. The intrusive thoughts lessened and soon after I self published my first book and sold it to a 7 foot red beareded pirate for five gold pieces.
Those five gold pieces have never been spent. I wouldnt trade them for anything in the world. They were the first time in a long time where some one said What I created was worth ther time and their money. That validation put me on the path to heal years of self doubt.
Exploring the why and who in your life is actually a great exercise as long as you don’t get stuck there. I am focusing on what comes next while describing what has all ready gone down.
Right now I am focusing on the Kickstarter, and pushing it past the 40% we are currently at. If you have enjoyed hearing some of my journey. Come see what the journey itself is about and support the Book!!!
I’ll expand more on this tomorrow.
James